Just Write

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The past couple of weeks have brought much sadness to our house, with the passing of my good friend's mom, and then the death of a young teacher at Meg's middle school in a car accident last Wednesday morning. Neither were expected; my friend's mom had had surgery and was struggling in her recovery, and then had a heart attack in the middle of the night; we had a small snowstorm last Wednesday morning and this young teacher (only 26) hit a patch of slush, lost control of her car and crashed. I had to tell my kids of the passing of J's mom, and it hit Meg so hard. Then, the teachers at her school had to inform them last Wednesday that the teacher had died. Meg took her death hard as well, as she was a band teacher (not Meg's directly) and Meg is so involved in music at school. Her teachers all struggled to make sense of the tragic passing and try to be there for their students, but it was just so sudden and awful that no one kept it together very well last week.

It's times like this that I wish I could keep my kids protected, in a bubble, so they don't have to face such sadness. But at the same time I know that I can't keep them bubbled up, that I need them to experience the things that we all must experience as life goes on. I had to face my own sadness in all of it in order to answer Meg’s questions, and try to comfort her and explain to her that I don’t have all the answers, that I don’t know why things happen the way they do. I know the teacher’s passing is on her mind all the time; there is a memorial set up in the lobby of her school that she passes every day. She just randomly blurted out a question about the funeral in the middle of dinner the other night. So, I try to push back my tears and hug her and let her ask me all the questions she wants. All I can do is be there for her, and try to answer them.

Linking up with Heather for her weekly series.

Dancin’

If you’ve read my blog for any amount of time now, you know that our school PTA hosts a Daddy-Daughter dance every spring. The dances began when Meg was in kindergarten, so this year was the 6th annual dance. Annie and Izzie were eligible to attend this year as our district now has public pre-k, but we opted to let them experience it next year, when they’re in kindergarten and will have their own friends to attend with.

The theme was candy shop and bright colors were encouraged. It’s very difficult to find appropriate attire for my 5 foot 5 inch 11 year old that doesn’t make her look like she’s 16, but I think this dress was just perfect.

I think they look so nice together. And yes, they are indeed standing on the same step.

Please ignore the mess on the porch; my kids never put anything away.

I’m still not sure how I managed to be the mother of a tween. She is a beautiful young lady.

Just Write

Yesterday I went to comfort a grieving friend whose mother passed away suddenly over the weekend. This friend was the first friend I made when I moved to our town in the woods. Her son and my oldest daughter were in the same kindergarten class and they were both quiet and shy and as luck would have it, they bonded. The kids conspired to have a playdate over February vacation that year, so I invited them to our house as the twins were only a few weeks old and going anywhere was out of the question for me. The bigger kids played outside and she and I talked about school and our kids and she held my babies. We found out we had a common interest in scrapbooking and a beautiful friendship was formed.

As the years have gone on, she and I have enjoyed daily emails and scrapbooking days and a love of the Twilight books and movies. Our kids have had classes together since kindergarten but only see each other in the halls this year. It’s hard to believe that it’s been almost 5 years since she and I met, as it seems like she’s been my friend forever.

When I woke up Saturday morning to the email that her mom has passed away I burst into tears. Her mom was a frequent guest at our scrapbooking days and she’d been in and out of my house over the years. My kids knew her and she always talked Red Sox with Doug. I was sad for my friend’s horrible loss and sad for my kids and her son. While I know death in inevitable, a sudden loss is much harder on everyone involved.

Yesterday when she emailed me and asked if I had time to stop by this week, as she needed a friend, I didn’t even respond; I just showed up on her doorstep and gave her a hug and sat with her and her son and husband and listened for awhile. It felt good to sit with her and and let her know how much she means to me.  There wasn’t anything more I could give her but my friendship and love.

 

 

Linking up with Heather again this week.

Just Write

Yesterday I went to comfort a grieving friend whose mother passed away suddenly over the weekend. This friend was the first friend I made when I moved to our town in the woods. Her son and my oldest daughter were in the same kindergarten class and they were both quiet and shy and as luck would have it, they bonded. The kids conspired to have a playdate over February vacation that year, so I invited them to our house as the twins were only a few weeks old and going anywhere was out of the question for me. The bigger kids played outside and she and I talked about school and our kids and she held my babies. We found out we had a common interest in scrapbooking and a beautiful friendship was formed.

As the years have gone on, she and I have enjoyed daily emails and scrapbooking days and a love of the Twilight books and movies. Our kids have had classes together since kindergarten but only see each other in the halls this year. It’s hard to believe that it’s been almost 5 years since she and I met, as it seems like she’s been my friend forever.

When I woke up Saturday morning to the email that her mom has passed away I burst into tears. Her mom was a frequent guest at our scrapbooking days and she’d been in and out of my house over the years. My kids knew her and she always talked Red Sox with Doug. I was sad for my friend’s horrible loss and sad for my kids and her son. While I know death in inevitable, a sudden loss is much harder on everyone involved.

Yesterday when she emailed me and asked if I had time to stop by this week, as she needed a friend, I didn’t even respond; I just showed up on her doorstep and gave her a hug and sat with her and her son and husband and listened for awhile. It felt good to sit with her and and let her know how much she means to me.  There wasn’t anything more I could give her but my friendship and love.

 

 

Just Write

I love Tuesdays. Tuesdays mean very little running around. Tuesdays mean laundry gets washed and dried (although rarely folded), emails get read and responded to. Tuesdays mean a trip to the library (usually) and to the grocery store to get food that will be eaten up and gone in two days. Tuesdays mean I breathe for the first time in 5 days.

We run, a lot. This past weekend, for example, the four kids had 8 hours of ice time from Friday night to Sunday night. Eight hours of ice time morph into ten or twelve hours of driving, of getting ready, of unpacking and repacking the car. I love being a hockey mom. I love cheering on my kids in their games or during their skills, and this weekend I got to hand out awards to my littles as their program director and take photos of my boy’s team from the bench and cheer on my biggest girl’s goal. But eight to ten to twelve hours of ice time mean no time to rest, to breathe, to recuperate. That’s what Tuesdays are for.

I don’t get everything accomplished on Tuesdays; that would be a wish upon a star. Instead, I find my footing and wash the clothes and write a little (just a little). It feels good to come here on Tuesdays and spill a little of what I keep inside my head. But now the kids are fighting and the biggest girl is looking for homework help and Tuesday goes back to being another day.

Confessions of a Large Family

We are a large family. Two adults and four kids is considered out of the ordinary in our society, even though more and more families are outside of the two adults, 2 kids, white picket fence stereotype from the 1950s. We face many challenges, from finding a hotel to comfortably sleep 6 people, to what size cars to drive (we drive a Ford Explorer and a Ford Freestar). Our family:

Uses more toilet paper in a week than I care to count;

Goes through a gallon of milk every other day;

Has to take two vehicles to a hockey rink if more than 2 of our kids is playing that day;

Is never, ever caught up on laundry;

Eats through two loaves of bread in three days;

Has more unmatched socks than matched socks;

Has to use a large LL Bean bag to bring all the books home from the library;

Has so much schoolwork piled up on the counter it’s unusable;

Runs the dishwashers twice a day most days;

Rarely has leftovers;

Uses 16 eggs to make scrambled eggs and eats it ALL;

Will probably never be able to afford a trip to Disneyworld.

If you’re a large family, do you share some of these confessions? If you aren’t a large family, do you have questions about what it’s like to be part of a large family? Ask away!

Just Write

The sun is bright, too bright off the snow that Mother Nature dumped on us last week. It shows every speck of dirt on the rugs, every crumb left on the table and floor. It shows all the stacks of papers and books and boots and mittens that aren’t in their place. It shows my failings too easily.

The kitchen floor has Thomas trains mixed in with hats and mittens and scraps of food that didn’t make it to the trash can last night. The living room has car mats and library books and my son’s socks from yesterday. I look at it all, and it overwhelms me. I know I should take it one room at a time and clean it bit by bit, but I have two five year olds who trail behind me and fill in the clean with more trains and books and crayons (mostly broken) and coloring books and it just means I have to do it all over again. It’s a never-ending cycle.

The cat food dishes are overflowing onto the floor and the boots on the mat aren’t really on the mat at all. The bright sunshine illuminates it all, reminds me of all I have to do. Some days it causes me to retreat and ignore, and others, like today, I will start with the trains and find the order in the chaos.

Stream of Consciousness

I think I’ve finally recovered from the madness that is birthday month in our family. I made a whole lot of different cakes for the kids including this fun rainbow cake for Meg’s birthday:

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I got the recipe from Tasty Kitchen and it was a blast to make and I’m pretty sure the kids all loved to eat it.

This week we’re battling ear infections and coughs and nasty colds that have forced Izzie to miss two days out of three of school, had Drew home recovering from being overtired, and me missing work yesterday. The next person who says they don’t feel well will get a one way ticket to Siberia. We seem to have turned a corner as Izzie is running around more today and not just hiding under a blanket coughing her brains out, so that’s progress.

My wipe-off calendar is blank, not because our schedule is wide open and free, but because I haven’t had time to fill it with all the hockey events and little league events coming up in the next couple of weeks. I like looking at the blankness of it, because I know once it’s filled I’ll feel overwhelmed. School vacation is coming up again the week of the 20th though and Doug will be home on vacation, so all the running around will quiet down and we’ll fill our days with lazy mornings and home cooked breakfasts. I’m hoping to decompress by spending time with some friends as well.

I never made any resolutions for 2012. I suppose if I were to make any I would want to take more time for myself this year. Sitting down on the couch after 8pm each night isn’t really taking more time for me. I want to blog more, read more, scrapbook more, get out of my house ALONE (or with Doug) more. I know it sounds selfish, and it is selfish, to say that I want to think about me more, but I also think that if I only give myself to my kids there won’t be much of me left when they’re all out of the house in a few years.

I’ve been at the computer too long this morning and my girls are throwing things at each other. I guess my “me” resolution will have to wait for another day.

Eleven

In honor of Meg’s 11th birthday today, I gave her a quiz asked her some questions about her life (idea shamelessly filched from Beth). Hard to believe we’ve gone from this:

to this:

BECAUSE YOU’RE 11

What is your favorite color? Yellow

What is your favorite food? Tacos

What sports do you play? Hockey and Softball

What musical instruments do you play? Clarinet, Piano and kinda sorta guitar

What is your favorite thing in the world to do? Read

What are your favorite types of books to read? Fantasy

What do you love about Drew? I love that he’s a dork. I am a dork too.

What do you love about Izzie? She likes to snuggle me at times.

What do you love about Annie? She gives great hugs.

What is your favorite subject in school? Everything.

What do you want to be when you grow up? Oh my gosh. Maybe something to do with animals. Or maybe a writer.

What’s your favorite thing to do with Dad? Go to hockey.

What’s your favorite thing to do with me? Have you read to me.

Do you think you’ll ever clean your room?  (one question to grow on) It’s kinda clean. But I think I can, someday.

Happy 11th birthday my sweet girl. Mom loves you more than you know.

Let Them Eat….Lamb and Cow?

January is a big birthday month for our family, as all three of the girls celebrate birthdays. Annie and Izzie’s birthday is exactly 2 weeks before Meg’s. It makes for a crazy month of baking, wrapping and celebrating, much like December. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

This year I knew right away that I would be making cakes to celebrate what Annie and Izzie love most~lambs and cows. I had no idea if I’d find any party supplies to match, but I knew that the girls would have the cakes of their favorite things.

Of course once I made the cakes I was nervous that neither of the girls would even let me cut them, as the cow cake was made to resemble Annie’s cow named Mooie and the lamb cake was made to resemble Izzie’s lamb Shakes. We did have a small crying episode from Izzie when she was presented with her cake to eat, so we pretended it wasn’t Shakes at all and she happily gobbled it up.

Can I just say how much I miss using my own camera? I use Meg’s Coolpix and when the light is low I get yellow pictures. I need to get my lens sent in to Canon for repairs ASAP.

I still can’t believe my babies are five.