Monkey See, Monkey Do

I’m officially waving the white flag. I’m spent. I’m done. I give up. The twins are going to drive me to drink, or an early grave. Maybe both.

After a relatively quiet morning and a late lunch, I put the girls down for a nap. I puttered around on the computer while Drew played on the floor with some flash cards. Over the monitor I heard Annie’s voice and it was just a tad bit too close to the monitor in the girls’ bedroom. Upon review, I found Annie walking around the room instead of in her crib. She has stealth, that’s for certain. I put her back, told them to take a nap, and came back downstairs. Shortly afterward I heard a horrible CLUNK and screams from Izzie. I found both girls out of their cribs, but Izzie was a crumpled heap on the floor and Annie was all innocently looking at me like “what? I do this all the time.”

Long story short, after a 2 1/2 hour trip to the urgent care center at our local hospital, Izzie has a fractured collarbone. Do you know what can be done for a fractured collarbone? NOTHING. I can put her little arm in a sling, but she’s a 2 year old. She isn’t going to keep her arm in a sling, no matter how cute it is. The paperwork says collarbone fractures take up to 6 weeks to heal. I bought a LARGE bottle of baby ibuprofen and will be calling our doctor for yet another referral to the orthopedist. Thank god for insurance, because Annie’s trip to the urgent care center was $500. We have to pay $50.

Let’s review~last month Annie got tackled by Drew and broke her arm. Her cast came off yesterday. YESTERDAY! Four days into December and Izzie decided she wanted to be part of the crowd and followed Annie out of the crib. Bubble wrap, duct tape and/or cookies and alcohol are on the agenda (cookies and alcohol for me not them of course) for the next few days.

I’m going to find my jammies and a blanket. I’m beat.

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13 thoughts on “Monkey See, Monkey Do

  1. Sweet Lord, that SUCKS!! I’m so sorry. I’m terrified of Morgan breaking a bone. Knock on wood, she makes no attempts to climb out of her crib. I need a few drinks AND a stay at the looney bin just reading about what the twins have put you through this last month. Hang in there 🙂

  2. hole.e.crap. i’m soooo sorry k. seriously, what a month. so the collarbone will just heal itself basically? without being immobile or anything? wow. i have some vicodin left over from when i had my wisdom teeth out if you want me to send it up there. for you, not the girls : )

  3. I’ve already discussed with you the utter sucktasticness of this situation.And I had to throw advice at you since you’re way more seasoned than I am at this parenting thing, but maybe it’s time to put the girls in a toddler bed? They seem hell-bent on turning your hair gray.

  4. Ugh sorry. When i was a kid around 4 or 5 i broke my collar bone. Then president carter also broke his and i wrote him a letter telling him i hope he felt better. I have no clue where the letter is today. grrr…In any event a year later i broke my arm. I was brought to the same hospital and protocol states the child be interviewd by social services if brought in more than 1 in a year. here I am at 5 in agony and they are asking if my parents did anything to me. Um no…. both playground injuries.I hope your kids feel better soon.

  5. Hugs. Repeat after me, “it is only a phase.” Some days, that is the only way I get through. Well, that and a lot of cartoons. I agree with AndreAnna, I think it might be time for beds. I mean, they don’t stay in their cribs anyways. That is when we moved my son. He was quite younger than my daughter was when she was moved, but to each their own. Since their toddler beds are their cribs with a side removed, I stretch a long blanket over the top and they get a cave that they are excited about. Helps them stay in bed more.

  6. Holy, holy crap. Don’t move, I’m getting in my car now to come rescue you. Or your girls. I’m not sure who has it worse right now!I woke up this morning wondering what was going on with Izzie (after our last email). My gut ALWAYS knows when something is amiss…

  7. (i thought your hair already was grey — under all the “enhancement?”)WTF is going on up there? If you had room, I’d say it was time to separate those two. If you had money, I’d say get them into tumbling and you to a therapist!I think I need to send you some chocolate ASAP!Sorry!

  8. Oh Kristen. Oh NOOOO! I read your post about the toddler beds first, and I was going to say “Keep them in the crib!” until I read this post. I have no idea what I’d do at this point. We moved Jack into a twin when we bought this house, and boy, I haven’t had a full night’s sleep since. But I was afraid he’d hightail it out of his crib. Anyway, prayers going your way. If I could snap my fingers I’d give you a good week away, completely pampered…(Mmm; come to think of it I’d do it for both of us!)

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