I just lamented on Twitter that I hadn’t done anything productive today other than assemble dinner in the crock pot. It’s not totally true~I’ve gotten 4 kids dressed, one out the door for school, squelched 3 tantrums, made a lunch and got a backpack organized, checked the balance of my bank account, cleaned up the kitchen table, fed kids snack, sent a couple of emails.
Yet I feel like I should be “doing” something all the time and I don’t know why I feel this way. Right now the kids are watching a Dora video which allows me time to compose this blog post, but in my mind I can hear the following: more laundry to wash, the cat boxes are overflowing (again), the dishwasher that was run this morning needs to be emptied and refilled, the kitchen island is lost among a sea of papers and needs to be found, the living room floor needs to be vacuumed. I’m not sure why I feel like I can’t enjoy a bit of time to relax, a bit of time when the kids aren’t screeching at each other, hitting each other with crayons/toys/books or climbing up on me yelling that “they’re being MEAN to me AGAIN Mommy”.
I feel like I should have a sparkling clean house AND personality when Doug comes home from work, when quite frankly I don’t always want to. And honestly, most days I am not all sunshine and smiles when he gets home. He’s well aware of what goes on here during the course of the day. He got to witness the tri-tantrum tournament here yesterday afternoon while I was gone for 45 minutes to get Meg from the bus and run to the grocery store. Some days just attempting to smile is all I can do, when I’d rather curl up in a corner and cry while my children beat on each other.
My 20 minutes of “not doing” are up. Back to doing.