I’ve started a dozen posts in my head, but none have even made it to the “draft” stage on the blog. Life is moving along, some days quickly (like Monday) and other days are just so….long and boring. I guess boring is the wrong word when you’re the Mama of four kids though. How about long and tedious? Yes, that’s better.
I think the hardest thing about writing blog posts is that I use other social media like Twitter and Facebook so I feel very much like I’m repeating myself, or that I have nothing really to say. I have plenty I want to say, but some of it is not my place to blog about and other things are just so….annoying to blog about, like the kids constantly fighting. I mean really, who cares, right? Kids fight. But that is the extent of my daily existence, so instead of blogging, I keep quiet.
Keeping quiet is a double-edged sword for me. There are things I want to blog about but choose not to because they are too personal in nature. There are things I want to blog about but choose not to because I am afraid to say what I’m thinking. I’m afraid to say some things because putting them out there makes them real, but keeping quiet means they’re just floating around in my head and that is a safer place for them. Doug reads this blog. I think it would be pretty awful if he read something that I blogged about that I’d never mentioned to him.
Having this blog means that I have to pick and choose what aspect of myself to show my “audience”. Lately that is becoming more difficult for me to do. I was never sure of the direction of my blog when I started it just over two years ago. I don’t know where I want to go from here with it, either. My blog is certainly about more than just my kids because I am about more than just my kids (although at times it does NOT feel that way). And there’s the issue. Maybe I need a new blog name. Maybe I need to be more comfortable in my own skin, which will allow me to write what I’m feeling, what I’m thinking.
Am I the only person who feels this way?
Should I stop blogging?
Should I change my blog name?
Thoughts? Suggestions? Vodka?