Confession: I am not at all enjoying anything about Christmas this year.
Confession: Ok, I am trying to enjoy everything about Christmas, but am really, truly struggling.
I love Christmas. I love the twinkling lights, my tree and the ornaments new and old. I like baking cookies and designing and sending out my Christmas card. I like going to my mailbox and seeing the Christmas cards that come in the mail and listening to Christmas music. I’ve been listening to Christmas music since before Thanksgiving.
What I am not loving is the way my kids have been acting lately. Temper tantrums. Scratching of faces and pulling of hair. Yelling at each other and me. Their complete inability to help out in this house in any way at all. Fighting over every-single-toy that anyone touches. Slamming of doors.
Oh sure, they act like this all the time over the course of the year, but at Christmastime, it’s really, really rubs me the wrong way. I’m trying to convey Christmas cheer while gathering up the toys that they fling down the stairs, and am left wondering if I should return everything that I’ve gotten them because they truly don’t appreciate what they have.
We haven’t overdone any Christmas type events. We went to see Santa, just the kids and I, last week. We’ve been to one holiday party. All our other free time is taken up with hockey. We haven’t even had time to go looking at holiday lights, unless you count coming back from the grocery store or the hockey rink as going to look at them.
Annie and Izzie started their school vacation last Friday and have spent their days completely trashing my house. Throwing toys. Emptying storage bins. Fighting. Screaming. Being so incredibly rude to me that the thought of spending one more day with them brings me to tears. I can’t bring myself to wrap any presents because I am feeling so Grinch-like about it all.
I am certainly not looking for the perfect, Norman Rockwell version of the holidays. That’s just a fantasy. But I would like to enjoy the next few days and prepare for Christmas without feeling like my heart is two sizes too small.