Just Write

I’ve hit that point where I’m getting overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with the the commitments, with the laundry, with everything. I shouldn’t be sitting here writing, as the washing machine just beeped and there are at least five more loads I need to do.

It’s the need-to-do part of my life that gets to me. I need to grocery shop. I need to do laundry. I need to get kids to the bus, from the bus, to preschool, from preschool. The need-to-dos overwhelm the want-to-dos and it is crushing sometimes. I want to sit and read one of the books I have stacked on the table next to the couch. And I do read, but not until nighttime after everyone is in bed and I’m beyond exhausted and have nothing left to give. I want to upload pictures from cameras and edit them and send them to print with time to spare instead of the last minute way I always do it. But the need-to-dos are always there, in the background, reminding me that the want-to-dos come later.

I wonder when the want-to-do part of my life will be something more than fleeting. The want-to-do part taunts me sometimes, because it’s right there for me to grab and I just can’t quite reach it. Not today at least. There’s laundry to be done.

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3 thoughts on “Just Write

  1. i spent 3.5 hours last night going through school papers and art projects and this-and-that that had piled up on our butlers pantry for the past year. talk about a need-to-do (as the mess was making my hub batty) that i had no interest in doing. and still, the final cut papers/art are now sitting in individual boy bins waiting for january (2012 or 2015 – unsure) for something to be done with them. oh how much better a book would have been. 🙂 and this kind of thing i struggle w/ b/c really, is it a need to do or want to do? who in the world wants to see art from 2nd grade when they are 40 anyway?? so is this whole thing an exercise in me wasting time? me and my self-imposed need-to-dos. oy.

    xo

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